The boyfriend that stole everything

I was talking to my therapist about the fact that I don't like people and that I want them as far from me as possible, and then I thought I didn't use to be like this. I used to like being around with people, so, when did this start?? what happened to me?? and then I remembered "the boyfriend that stole everything" and what he did to me.

I had met this guy a few years before, and i had thought he was cute, just saw him once. After that we waved at each other several times while driving our cars, he got fat and I didn't like him anymore. But this one day, I had just broken up with someone I really loved and who hurt me a lot and I was getting drunk with some friends at the tatoo studio, and he showed up. He was thin again and he seemed very happy to see me there. We started talking and a few days later he was already my boyfriend. I was very happy, cause being with him helped me not to thing about the other one, and kept sadness away from me.

Those were hard times for me back then, cause I was taking some pills that shouldn't be taken with alcohol, but the doctor told me I could drink and just before going to bed, I could take my pills. But I guess my doctor didn't consider I drank everyday, and now that I'm sober I can see those pills mixed with alcohol did affect my judgement back then.

So being high almost all day long and feeling safe with him led me to do a series of stupid things. He moved in with me, a few weeks after we started dating and suspiciously enough, some things started to disappear, specially money, but he managed to convince me I was sleepwalking and taking the money and getting rid of it. So I thought it was all my fault!!!

Some other things disappeared from my house. The most expensive toys, my son's money, my videocamera, my dvd, my digital camera, but I didn't realize untill it was too late. I was so numb back then, I regret that now.

His son stole my car while I was in another city, and of course, crashed it. And he begged me to not go to the police, he promised he would pay all the expenses and fix the damages of both cars. Of course he didn't!!! and when I was about to lose my car, I had to borrow a lot of money from my parents, money he promised he would pay, and yes, he never payed.

We both moved to another city, where I was supposed to have a better job, but instead, the company broke and I got left there with no job and no money. He said he would get a job, and he actually said he had gotten jobs, but what a coincidence!! just before getting paid he was suspiciously fired!!!

We were so broke, sometimes we would only eat one piece of bread and beans, and some days, he would come home with a little money, he would say to me he borrowed it from some friends. I didn't notice he was selling the few things I had left!!!

But the last thing he did was telling me his son had an emergency and that he had to send him a large amount of money to save him from some drug dealers. It was exactly the same amount he was supposed to receive from the last "job" he said he had gotten. Mmmmmm, suspicious right???

So I called his family and, as I thought, they didn't knew anything about any drug dealers, so I knew he was lying to me, and I told him not to send that money away, cause we needed it to pay rent. I told him I would never forgive him if he sent the money. He said he wouldn't, but when the time to go claim the check came, he just appeared with a suitcase and told me he had sent the money and that he was leaving.

I was shocked. Just in front of my eyes I saw him cross the door, leaving me with no money at all, not even a few cents to buy a cigarette!!! Then I thought, I had a little money in the bank that I had saved to pay part of the rent, but soon I discovered he had also stolen my debit card and the money was gone too.

I remember that day I went into the bathroom, into the shower, sat on the floor and hid my head behind my knees and cried. I cried a lot. I was so scared to go out and face my new reality. I was there, in a new unknown city, all alone, with no money at all, with no place to go, with nobody to ask for help. I was so scared, I was petrified.

My parents helped me, they sent me some money to pay my debts. Later on I discovered all the things that were gone, all of them obviously sold by him. But the truth is that emotionally, I never recovered from that experience. I managed to lock myself inside my house, and months later, inside my bedroom, and would just go out quickly to the store to buy some groceries. I got completely isolated from the world outside.

It's been three years since then. I still don't like going out. I avoid it as much as I can, and I just feel comfortable if my Lion King goes with me. I don't like answering the phone, or the door, and I don't socialize with anybody. I don't like people and I want them away from me. The only way I can comunicate is by texting or chatting online, and obviously, I can't get a job because of that.

So the boyfriend that stole everything stole something else, he stole my confidence, he stole my trust... he stole me. And I'm still trying to recover.