The boyfriend that really wasn't strikes again

The moral would be, if someone you don't like says something to you that creates some sort of a trauma, don't let that person know about it, or they'll laugh at you.
And that is exactly what is happening.

Let's make a little history here. The bf that really wasn't used to say he was a metalhead way too much. That, itself, is quite wrong and annoying, if u are something, u don't have to talk about it, people will tell and recognize what u are. But things get worse if you are not what u claim to be, and that is what i told this guy. As he once confessed, that statement really shocked him and troubled him, first, cause he wouldn't accept i was right, later, cause he didn't like reality.
A year later, and after asking me if i had a calendar and hadn't noticed it's been too long since we broke up, he comes up with the same stupid subject once again, but this time even worse, cause he writes in his blog about his story as a metalhead and how proud he is now for not being one anymore, but also talks shit about metalheads with statements full of lies and stupidity.

I got curious and read this post, i knew instantly it was addressed to me, but i know who i am, and i know what i am, and who and what i am not, of course, those things he said had no effect in me but hours and hours of non stop laughter. I would have loved to post a comment and say, "oh please, get over it!" but i didn't do it, i decided to be more mmm... subtle.

I copied the link and showed it to a friend of mine, metalhead to the bone, but also a very inteligent and nice person, with lots and lots of metalhead friends, and just as i expected, she read it, got mad, made comments and shared it with her friends, those friends with others and you can imagine what happened next. His blog was full of insults and comments trying to make him understad he had make a huge mistake by writing those things.

Oh damn, i did have so much fun. But i didn't know things would get even better! for me of course. Cause this guy dared to delete all the comments!! and even worse!! he decided to write one more post, supposedly answering those who have made comments. So i also read the "reply", oh boy, i didnt know he was that stupid!!! i mean, i knew he was, but not that much!! he replied making fun of them (or at least trying) and critizicing them instead of giving good reasons to his previous statements (of course he didn't cause he doesnt have any!!!).
Then some guy wrote him again, i loved that post, it was sooo right!! and guess what... yes!!!! he deleted it too!!! hahahahahahahahahaha oh my god, the only thing he should delete is his stupid post and try to pretend nothing happened, but hey, that would be a wise decision, and well, you know... ;-)
In the end, i had 3 days of fun and laughter and he got 3 days of insults and bad words.
Who's the winner?? ;-)

L O L n' pride

LOL!!!! Damn i really laughed today, hahahaha, i love those girls, they are so funny!!! Too bad it's difficult to get together as often as we would like to, but we have promised each other to meet before Xmas. I miss those days at Berlin, with both bands and all the girls, i wish they played there more often =)

Now, in other order of ideas, i'm so proud of my lion king today. I couldn't go, cause i had things to do, but today was the beginning of his band's new era. Covers are being left behind and with their new manager things will be not only different, but much, much better.

My lion king, i really wish you the best, not only because i love you with all my heart, but also because you deserve it, you all four do. I admire you cause you dared to pursue the dream of being a professional musician and now you are on your way to the top. Way to go, my love!!!! Congratulations!!!

Now im really into playing once again, that fire inside me is burning again. I want to have fun and feel alive on a scenery!!! and you singing will make this project even better. Thanx for sharing my dreams with you!!! oh, and what we did today, well, it was aweeeesome!!! L O L !!!!!

Relieved =)

For a long time i wondered why the bf that really wasn't was so annoying to me, but i found no answer. I even talked about it with my lion king, and i told him i knew he had done nothing bad to me, but still. i dont know what is it with him that makes the worst part of me come out.

All people who know me could say i'm one of the most loving persons in the world, they have all seen me give all i have and all i am to those i have had relationships with. Some of them even say i give too much, and coming to think of it, maybe that is what happened to me with this guy.

I had just ended a relationship in which i suffered a lot, even though i gave my best, this person betrayed me in all possible ways and left me with nothing at all. I was so hurt. I didn't plan it, but i think i reacted as a pendulum, going from one end to another drastically, being mean to him to avoid him being mean to me.

I'm not proud of it, what i did was wrong, i know, but i swear i didn't plan it that way, and i didn't even know i was being mean till now.

Now i know he has been reading this, and sent me a message with all kinds of silly childish insults, but i understand, he's hurt, i can't expect him to be nice. he tried to make me think our friendship broke cause his gf wanted to protect him from me, hahaha, she didn't even know anything that had happened when she interfered, but, you know what?? I really give a damn haha. I said what i wanted to say and took out of my soul bad feelings i was having, and amazingly enough, something else happened: reading his funny message made me forget i hated him.

So I'm relieved now. There's no hate in my heart anymore. Now i can turn the page and live happily with my loved ones and my lion king.

It was all meant to be this way, i like to think. Perhaps, karma does exist and this guy had to pay being mean to someone by dating me, cause he has also been mean, he shouldn't forget about it. Perhaps we had to live such a messy relationship to find happiness just ahead, after all, if he hadn't been unhappy, he wouldn't have needed her and found her in that very moment, and for me, thanx to that awful experience with him i decided to stop looking for men and learn to enjoy loneliness, which later helped me find the most wonderful man in the world and build a strong healthy relationship with him.

And if it wasn't meant that way, then it was just a happy coincidence with a happy ending for both of us.

Today i can finally say i wish them both the best together =D

Hatred

I really thought i'd never hate anybody. I had forgotten lots of people who hurt me a lot. I thought I had no issues with forgiveness at all. Then, these two men appeared in the map.

The first one: the thief. He stole everything from me. Money, stuff, confidence, self esteem... Everything. I thought he would pay, someday, that life would make him suffer as much as he did with me. Then, I just found out he's dating my ex best friend, enjoying life, drinkin beer with friends, gaining weight and health. That's so unfair. I wish everything in his life was a mess, i wish he lost his job, i wish he lost his family, i wish he lost his girlfriend. I wish he died alone. Where's karma then?? Don't they say we all pay for our actions here in this life?? I don't see him paying for anything. And I hate that. And I hate him.

The second one: the looser. This case is totally different, cause he didn't really do anything wrong to me, or unfair, but him being on Earth, breathing just make me feel nauseous. He's one of my biggest mistakes. I didn't know dating him was going to end with our friendship which i really cherished. We tried to go steady but it was a whole deception and mess. I remember when we were making out in the bedroom once and I opened my eyes and saw his froggish eyes and ugly face so near me I got scared and didn't want to kiss him again, to date him again, to hear his ugly voice again, to see his ugly face again. ughhh, he's so disgusting!!!! Now he's living with his girlfriend and he's very happy and I hate that!! I want him to suffer, I want him to be alone, I want him to feel sad and lonely. Why?? I don't know!!! I just hate him.

I hate them both. I hate hating them. I want to go on with my life and forget about them, but watching them die would help haha, ok it wouldn't ;-)

The Lion King

I'm a hunter. Chasing is what i like the most, then, when I catch my victim I discover I don't want it anymore.

I'm not exactly talking about animals. That's what happens to me with men. I like flirting, trying to get his attention, if it's difficult it's even better. I love the first kiss, that first time your lips touch his, his breath, his smell... =D isn't it just great?? But then, after that, that guy I kept thinking of the whole day becomes completely boring ¬¬, everything I was feeling just goes away.

Few guys have escaped that fate. I'd say 3, but my interest in them did surely go down, but then, the Lion King came to my life to rock my world and to make me feel what i had never felt before.

He got in my mind so slowly I didn't even noticed it. I didn't chase him, I didn't hunt him, he just stood in front of me and said " I want to know you better ". To know me better??? you mean, for real??? I think that is what made him special. So I started enjoying him being around, his company, his talk, then he was there when I needed his support, that meant a lot to me. Then I realized I was caring a lot for him, days after, I was loving him, today, I'm completely in love with him.

He's the reason I smile when I wake up, he's the thought that's always in my head, he's the one I'm dying to see, he's the lips I want to kiss, he's the one in my dreams.

I'm so happy to have the Lion King in my life I have even forgotten I want to die for a while.

Thank you for sharing your life with mine, thank you for being there and for being who you are =-* I love you =D I really do :-*

The boyfriend that reallly wasn't

The internet can be really dangerous. It can make you believe on things you shouldn't. Here's what happened to me.

I found this classmate from highschool after so many years. He's lonely, I'm too. And we found each other trying to fulfill the other's expectations. So we started a relationship, I even moved to another city to make it work. Ok, I didn't, I did cause I wanted him to pay my Japanese lessons >=). The thing is that the whole event was a complete disaster!!! He turned out to be the most annoying person in the world, yes, I ended up hating his only presence on Earth, haha.

"Use them" my cousin said, referring to men, and so I did. I "kept" him so he could pay the next course, but I had to get rid of him before I started the 3rd course, too bad hehe.

Then I found out he had been feeling too sad, lonely, abandonned, etc. when he was "dating" me, and I use quotations cause we really didn't date, I didn't want to see him, so I kept making up excuses to not going out with him. I'm kinda evil sometimes, I don't know why, cause I did feel good when I knew he was feeling like that, it was this great feeling and the thought that he got what he deserved. Did he deserve pain cause he wasn't who I expected him to be?? Cause he couldn't make me fall in love with him?? or because he is so annoying he deserves to suffer?? hehe, i like the last option better ;-)

Then he found someone else, this ugly girl that apparently makes him happy, and I wish he hadn't found her, I wish he was lonely, sad and abandonned. Why?? I don't know, maybe it's just because I don't like him. And to think I thought I would love him, haha, yeahh I was stupid.

I still can read his blog, I had forgotten about it for 7 months, but hopefully, one day I'll open his blog and read she dumped him cause he was really annoying too =D or, that they are going to have ugly annoying stupid kids haha, I don't know, I don't really care anymore, I just find it amusing to have someone to hate ;-)