What happened?? I almost beat a cat to death.
Here's the thing. This stupid cat keeps hissing at us and hurting us with his nails. I hate him. I hate his stupid ugly face, his stupid huge ears, and his stupid voice. It's only 3 months old and i bet it will be dangerous for humans when he grows old. and I hate it.
Why so much hate towards a small animal?? I dont know, I'm sure it means something but i dont know what.
The thing is that i try to get rid of it, i kick him out but hours later i still can hear him scream, cause it doesnt meow, or cry, he screams, as if it was being tortured by 10 humans with needles and knives. So I open the door and its there, but instead of coming in, cause thats what he wanted, wasnt it? thats why it was making so much noise, isnt it? instead, it walks backwards, and hisses, and makes threatening noises. So I want to kick him as far as I can with my super big boot but instead, i grab him by the neck to bring it in, but what do I get? scratches. scratches and bites and more hissing!!!!
Then everything goes like a slow motion movie. I put my hand around the neck, and then close it, more and more, then it starts making these noises with its throat and I so like it. no more hissing, no more nails, no more bites. just choking noises and nothing more. nice =). but i have to let it go or i'll kill him, and i dont want to do it, or do I? so I slam him onto the floor and i expect it to run away, but it doesnt move. guess i really hurt him. he cant walk, he crawls behind the washing machine and i should leave him there, but i so hate it that i grab a mop and start hitting as hard as i can till it goes out.
My heart beats so fast, my hands shake, I feel both great and awful, Im cruel but he deserves it. you'll suffer stupid little creature, youll regreat you dared to hiss at me and put your nails on me. I have to stop, theres blood around its snout, it smells like shit, and theres piss all over the place. so i go back in and try to calm down. I'm breathing fast. but i still have to go out to hang the clothes to dry.
Im hanging the clothes and i hear the cat crying, now he is crying, there's fear, there's pain, there's suffering and I so like it, I want to hear that again, so i start chasing it with the mop, kicking it when i can, then Thirty Two comes, oops! his mom is here and i don t want her to see this, so i leave him alone, but he still cries. Im about to go when i see him hidden behind the dog house, staring at me, frightful, sad.
Awww poor little thing, who hurt you??? Come here boy, dont cry, Ill pet you and make you feel better, but dont you dare to do something wrong or we'll start again. Easy there, easy... shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhhh ....
Now that i feel better i can see clearly the problem is that cat doesnt love me, doesnt respect me and i cant cope with rejection. He doesnt like me and i want him to pay for it.
I told Tommy love is the real problem.
It has always been.
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