Friday, June 15, 2012

Paco Amezcua, my high school "friend"

So I sat here today and thought "what will I write about today??" And then this face came to my mind.

I was just 15 years old. I had just entered high school and I was having a hard time adapting to all those changes.  I was too shy, too quiet, too naive, too innocent. An overprotective family had left me with no weapons to fight mean people in the world.

So I had this group of friends, and there was this guy named Paco Amezcua. After a few weeks of school, he started dating tall and very skinny Ileana. We all knew about that relationship.

Anyway, by that time, I had been trying unsuccessfully to finish Mario Bros. 3 for weeks, and this guy told me he had a guide to it. So he came over, we played for hours and we did finish the game. I was very excited about it =D. So it got late, he had to go, and I walked him to the door, and suddenly, he jumped in front of me and kissed me. I froze. I had never kissed anybody before, and that wasn't exactly what I had dreamt. He was a froggish ugly guy, who happened to be my friend's boyfriend, no, it wasn't the kiss of my dreams. But as I already said, back then I was so insecure and shy that I just didn't do anything against him. I couldn't say No, back off! so he kissed me for what it seemed an eternity for me and then he left.

As I had absolutely no experience with that kind of situations, I thought, if he kissed me, it must mean he wants to date me instead from now on. But oh, I was so wrong. That is when I learnt mean can kiss you even if they don't want anything with you, that they sometimes don't care about your feelings. He wanted to keep dating Ileana, which was kind of confusing, but okay. But that first kiss wasn't the only one. During the next couple of weeks he would take me somewhere nearby and kiss me. I was so shy to say no, that I would just freeze there and let him do it, I wouldnt kiss back though, but he didn't seem to care. It was disgusting, it was like some kind of torture to me, but I couldn't do anything to stop that.

This one day, I didn't go home early and I was at school when everybody else had already left. Everybody else but him, who I ran into in an empty hallway. Of course, he started kissing me again, but this time, he did something else, he started touching me. I could feel his hands all over my body and I was really uncomfortable and disgusted. I so wanted that to be over, I wanted him to leave. I prayed for someone to find us so he would stop, but noone came, and I had to stay there until he felt like leaving. I felt so dirty and sad afterwards, I felt used, humiliated, abused in so many ways, and I couldn't tell anybody cause I was so shy, and so quiet, and so insecure, I thought my parents would blame me, or even my friends.

So next time he took me to a park and wanted to start all over, I managed to say "don't, please don't" and he was really surprised, he asked why and I said I didn't want to kiss him anymore. I thought what I was doing would solve all my problems, but oh, i was so wrong. He got that mad that next day at school everybody was mad at me. He had told all of my friends, I had been trying to kiss him and that I had been trying to make him break up with Ileana. They all believed him, all except for one, Midorie.

I never had the chance to tell all of them the truth, or maybe I had it but didn't take it, I don't know. But I lost my friends and my inocence because of him and I hated him so much.

A year later I had him beaten by some friends. While he was there lying on the floor bleeding he looked at me and said "girl you are so sick" and I just laughed at him. A year later we did the same, this other friend wanted to beat him down too, I had no objections whatsoever!!  After that, we would follow him home every now and then just to see his scared face haha. I thought he had paid for what he did, but the truth is that he destroyed me in so many ways. He destroyed my first kiss, my image of men, my self esteem, my friends...

Here's the guy...



Gross right?? 

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